2007 06: Betrayed, deceived by those they trusted

NST online. Local News. 28/6/07

KUALA LUMPUR, THU.:
They were young and trusting and they ended up being raped by the very people they thought they could trust.

Samantha (not her real name) never thought she would be at risk when she allowed a male friend to use her Internet access at home. The 19-year-old shared a rented apartment with her older sister. She was alone when a former classmate asked if he could use her Internet access to do some work. Her act of kindness turned into a nightmare when the friend, of more than two years, sexually assaulted her.

"He was stronger physically. He also knew that no one would be around to hear my screams," she said of the incident that happened last April. After the ordeal, Samantha lodged a report at a nearby police station. "The officers said they couldn’t entertain such cases as they didn’t have female officers to do the necessary check-up," she said. Samantha then went to a clinic but was referred to the Kuala Lumpur Hospital. "I waited for hours in emergency before seeing the doctor and getting admitted."

A report was taken by a police officer in-charge at the ward. However, Samantha said, there has been no follow-up by the police.

Megan (not her real name) was gang-raped while travelling with a boy she fancied but hardly knew. The boy had invited Megan to go on a trip to Penang with his colleagues and a superior. The boy then asked her to have sex with his boss who had apparently paid for her trip. The girl, afraid and confused, consented out of guilt for the "free trip". She was gang-raped by the other male colleagues after the boss had raped her.

Lee (not her real name) met up with a childhood friend for drinks but ended up being raped in a public toilet.

Lee, who is in her late 20s, said the incident happened when she went to the toilet at the pub they were in. He volunteered to accompany her as it was in the early hours of the morning and the place was deserted.

"I felt safer having him along. But the next thing I knew, he pushed me into a cubicle, tore off my clothes and raped me. "I tried to push him away but he was too strong and I was intoxicated. It was over in minutes but those were the longest minutes of my life."

Lee said he left her in the toilet and she was forced to make her way home by herself, all the while blaming herself for what had happened. After a month of dealing with the emotional turmoil, Lee decided to lodge a police report, but there, she was dealt another blow. "The line of questioning was such that they were casting aspersions as to what I did that led to the rape.

They asked me why it took so long for me to lodge a report and whether I liked the guy. They made it sound as if it was my fault that I was raped."

Tips from experts — What you can do to protect yourself
1) When going out with someone new, go to a public place so that you are not alone with your date.
2) Never let yourself be taken to a second location because it gives your attacker the opportunity to harm you.
3) Never leave your drinks unattended. If you need to do so, finish your drink before leaving or order a new drink upon returning.
4) Listen to your gut feeling — don’t ignore your intuition if you sense you are in danger or uncomfortable with your date.
5) No means NO! Sometimes an attacker thinks the girl is "playing hard to get", so be assertive.