2005 11: The little silent ones who need our help

The Sun online. Comment & Analysis. 18 Nov 2005

Lauren Lim

I walked through the crowded market looking for the stall that offered my favourite char-kueh-kark (stir-fried rice cakes). Weaving past the many people and stalls, I was perspiring from the heat.

As I approached the ah-pek (old man) who manned the stall, I heard a loud wail coming from a stall further down.

Curious, I walked on and saw a young child of less than two years old crying as she sat on the lap of an old woman, who was herself sitting on the floor of the market right next to a vegetable stall.

The woman kept patting the young girl to pacify her while holding out a small container -she was begging.

The child was clearly uncomfortable wearing long-sleeved pyjamas and long pants in that heat. She was not shod and her hair was unkempt.

As I walked past them, she looked up at me and her eyes said it all. She did not want to be there and she should not be there.

My heart bled. I stopped at a nearby stall and asked for condiments for fish sambal. While the proprietress prepared my order, I turned around to look at the duo sitting on the ground.

The child was still crying and as she turned around, saw me looking at her. She did not know what shame or embarrassment was -she was crying out for help and wondered if someone would rescue her from that place.

How I wished I could have picked her up in my arms and soothed her but I was rooted there for a moment. Was she in pain? Is she wet? Was she hungry?

I said a prayer and asked that she be spared from further agony and abuse. Only God knows who that older woman is and how they are related ... or not. Maybe there is no one to look after the child or maybe she is used as a bait. Maybe parenthood has allowed these emotions to well up within me ... All these thoughts crossed my mind as I stood there staring at her but that did not stop me from feeling both sad and angry at the same time.

This is not the first time I have come across those who beg with a young child in tow. I have often seen another lady who begs with a baby in her arms. She normally has a bottle of milk (or what seems like milk) in front of her and the child is always asleep. I have never seen the child open his eyes.

I casually mentioned to the stall owner nearby that this is no place for a baby and he revealed that the infant is always drugged before being brought out, so that he would not cry or move about. There is also a man who comes with them but never "works". He merely hangs around and observes. I bought a loaf of bread and a drink for the lady. As I placed it on her lap, I looked at the baby -he was asleep. I wonder what effect the drugs will have on him. What would become of those children, I wonder. Would this be the norm? Would there be a change for the better? They are but feeble things -what place have they got there? What goes through the parents' minds when they take such actions to earn a living? Do they love their children? Or did they just happen and therefore, the need to nurture is not in the bigger scheme of things?

Apart from what I mentioned in my last article about our children being the future, there is another question that I often ask myself. - A child is a young and impressionable would-be adult. Should we not treat another fellow human being with respect -whether young or old?

We were once children ourselves. Whatever good or bad experiences we may have had as children, let us not forget that the young ones before our very eyes were not part of that history and it is definitely not their choice if they have been brought into this world unwillingly.

I cannot imagine what would have happened to that baby-in-the-bag if no one had opened it. Each action we take defines their future and maybe even ours. When we age and become weak, it would be a wonderful thing to have children take care of us then, but only if they have been exposed to similar good examples.

You ask why I would write another article on children. Since the last time I wrote, I have seen too many incidences of child abuse and neglect to remain silent. In the course of two weeks, I have witnessed it before my very eyes, read about it, watched it on the news and heard of it. I believe it is not by chance that it all came pouring down on my conscience and into my soul within such a short span of time. There is a real need for us to take a good look at ourselves because the reflection in the mirror is not pleasant. We may not abuse our children but others do. We may not neglect our kids but there are countless ones out there who are lost. There is something that needs to be done. Are we prepared to get out of our comfort zone and make a difference? I believe there are many charities out there who take in orphans and children who are not wanted. These organisations need more than just financial assistance. They need human resources to organise and run programmes for their residences. Would we step out to touch someone's life?

Lauren Lim is a homemaker, a rusty musician and a life observer.